Oh, Japan

I love this country so much. The people are absolutely insane and wonderful. These are some pictures I’ve taken over the year of uniquely Japanese things, strange people, and the cutest kids you’ll ever see in your life.Plastic food. You can’t get away from it here. Do they actually think this is going to entice us to come inside? Nothing looks good in plastic food form. Crepes are also extremely popular here. So this is the perfect picture of plastic crepes… with hotdogs and macaroni and cheese on them. I have never had a crepe in Japan.These are my medications for a common cold. I think I was taking 16 pills a day. And they didn’t even work! Their drugs SUCK.This was at the doctor’s office that I went to everyday for my ankle when it was broken. What the hell is this torture device!?How professional!

This is a pop group. They have a million members in them here. I think *NSync did it right with 5. I mean, *NSync did everything right.

A very creative homemade hat.I really don’t understand why these hats are worn here. The little bodies hanging off like rat tails freak me out.Cy and a stranger modeling the ever popular hat/sleeve/glove combination. It looks like they skinned the Chesire Cat and Tigger. Very disturbing.Also very disturbing: two grown ass women making their Duffys talk and play in DisneySea.Duffy and all the stuffed toys want to watch the shows too. I’m sad to say that this is a common occurrence. The woman who owns these dolls and hiding under her Minnie umbrella is also dressed as Minnie of course. And please notice the woman next to them with the towel on her head. Everyone does this in the summer.Saying Japanese people love Disney is the understatement of the year. They’re 2 and a half hours early for the parade.Harajuku is a magical place of ugly girls decked out in huge costumes and wigs. They strive to make themselves kawaii (cute) or at least distract from their faces. These Harajuku girls have wandered off to Disneyland and were very happy to take a picture.Dog prams.A little post-work roller skating.This woman is one of my all time favorites. If you haven’t read all of my blogs (which would be a damn shame), this woman waited for about an hour in the cold with her stuffed Santa cat to take a picture in the light up carriage near Harajuku. What a strange, strange lady.Not only is it amazing that this dog waited for the light to turn green to enter the crosswalk (like every Japanese person – NO jaywalking at all), but as it came closer I got a good look at this…Oh my God. Amazing.He just wants a little beer. Who can blame him?

And now for the ridiculously cute children. I have pretty much hated children my whole life. That is until I came to Japan. I realize I really like CUTE, SILENT kids. Japan is crawling with them! It’s amazing!! I may steal one. It wouldn’t be that hard either; they are always on their own. You may see me next week with my very own stolen Japanese child.The peace sign is taught at a very young age here.The Easter parade is going by right in front of this little girl, but she doesn’t care. There are blonde people to stare at.I love the school outfits so much. Why couldn’t my uniforms be this cute?Thanks for taking off her shoes before she stood on the seat. This little one hasn’t quite perfected the peace sign yet.But she did.

This is far funnier/creepier than cute. I love her arms hanging over the shoulders. But more importantly, what is this and why was it created?!

This picture was included for several reasons. 1: the girl looks like she’s about to slap Miss Bunny. 2: it shows Japan’s love for Miss Bunny, the character that has ONE line in Bambi and yet has more fans and merchandise than Goofy. And 3: the girls in their school uniforms in the background. These kids are always wearing their uniforms and I don’t quite understand it. They wear them on weekends and in the mornings. I totally understand after school, but why are you wearing them at 8am on a Saturday?

I really love that Max, Prince Eric’s dog from The Little Mermaid, is a character.

If I had found this Nemo (ha – get it? Finding Nemo. I’m so funny) cape to buy, it would have been mine.

Most adorable Alice I’ve ever seen.

So cute and so quiet.

I LOVE when they make Minnie ears with their hair.

This kills me!

My all time favorite outfit for kids. I stop everything I’m doing when I see kids dressed like Donald or Daisy. I have actually looked (to no avail) for these outfits to buy for a future niece or nephew.

They’re really too good.

These captions are getting redundant. Obviously I love all of these pictures.

All alone. What did I tell you? A pedophile’s dream come true.

A tiny Queen fan! And this was taken at a beer festival. I love this budding alcoholic.

She’s lookin’ good and she knows it.

I really love that boys and men here have absolutely no problem with being loud and proud about their Disney love. I feel like by this kid’s age in the States, he wouldn’t be caught dead in a matching Duffy outfit (unless he was a homo). But thinking that liking Disney is effeminate or gay and judging guys for it is obviously a learned behavior and I’m sad about that.

Babies in winter clothes. Amazing. All you have to do is flash the peace sign with a camera in your hand and you’ll get anyone to happily pose for a picture. Except that kid in the middle – he’s not happy about the picture.I love when parents lift their babies in front of their face and then pretend they’re not there. Do they not think a floating baby in a picture is awkward? Because I do.So kawaii hanging out in Kitty’s house.Babies in a basket!! My absolute favorite thing to run into near my apartment. This is how they take walks at daycare here. It apparently happens every day, but I’ve only seen it a handful of times. It makes me happy.I think these girls take the cake for me. Such pretty princesses.

I don’t want to go back to the land of screaming, misbehaved children. Disneyland is a much happier place when kids are this cute and there are almost no strollers. But maybe it’s not children I hate at all; it’s the parents who are wielding the strollers and allowing the bullshit. Pick up the pieces, America!

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